The Little Things

This entry isn't about any one thing in particular. Just some of the weird stuff you come across.

• For my birthday, Pui and I (and her aunt and uncle) went to the Universal Theme Park in Osaka. Here is a video of Bert and Ernie 'Putting on the Ritz'. All the theme rides were dubbed in Japanese as well. I had a pretty craptastic burger at a Hollywood themed restaurant for $26. (this on top of the $100/person entrance fee). All that being said, it was pretty sweet. Pui got her picture taken with Popeye and I got the crap scarred out of me at Jurassic Park. What more could you ask for your 35th.



• At the lower end of the Sushi spectrum, it is very much the fast food of Japan. They have these restaurants everywhere that have a conveyor belt that is constantly running with Sushi. You don't actually order (although you can), you just wait until something comes along you like and you pick it off. For the tally, they just count up your plates. Pui and I can eat until I never want to see sushi again for about $15. Video here.



• The Japanese have got parking down to a science. I just wrote about a paragraph trying to describe it, but it's too hard to accurately tell you how cool it is. Easier to just check out the video here.



• This whole blog entry is probably just an excuse for me to talk more about Japanese toilets. How we haven't adopted these in the states yet I have no idea. First of all the seats are heated - and you control the temperature with a very sophisticated wall mounted control panel. When you are done going to the bathroom you press another button that pops out a lever that will shoot a warm jet of water so you pretty much don't have to do any wiping. In addition, you can control the jet of water ad infinitum: temperature, angle (both up or down and left or right), amount of water, pulse or constant flow, timer or manual shut down. There is a button on the wall to flush and when you hit it a compartment on the toilet rolls back revealing running water so you can wash your hands.



• Climbing Gyms: If you're not a climber, you can skip this one. We've been to 3 different gyms in Tokyo and everyone has the same weirdness. For starters, the holds on all of the sport routes have been painted. Normally gym's use tape to signify a route, here all the holds are just painted the same color. The result is that they are as smooth as glass, no friction. We asked our friend why in the hell they would do that and he said that there is a mentality that if you can climb on a 5.10 without friction, you can climb just about any 5.10 in the world. That to me is like forcing everyone in the gym to wear 10lb. ankle weights. The other weird/cool thing is that all of the bouldering problems are any feet. With the zillions of holds on the wall you would think that everything would be pretty doable. Not even close. I've never had my ass kicked so bad in a bouldering gym (and had so much fun at the same time).

Japanese Bathhouse

Let me preface this with I've never understood group male showers. In the high school locker room I never even once hung out for a spirited game of grab ass (whatever that is), never snapped a towel, and never stood in a line with 20 other naked dudes getting clean. When Pui's aunt suggested that we hit the spa, I didn't think in a million years it would be anything of the like.

Little did I know I was about to embark on a full on Japanese tradition - the bathhouse. It's basically like an amusement park in the shower. You've got about 20 stations all with varying temperates, jets, and tub sizes. Temperatures range from freezing to scalding. Jets range from tickling to just about breaking the skin. The tub sizes are anywhere from sitting in a pot sized for 1 human to sitting in a pool that could hold 50. My favorite was one outdoors where the temperatures were hovering at about 40. You lay down on about 30 little cement knobs that are trickling 100 degree water. It was so comfortable I fell asleep and didn't wake up until I started to get hypothermic about 30 minutes later.

So anyways, you pretty much just go station to station. When you're done you go out to the lobby, eat some sushi and drink an ice cold Sapporo. By this time you've completely forgotten that there were 100 other naked dudes in the shower with you.

Smoking Red Sun

It's so weird to be in a country where non-smokers are outnumbered by smokers 10-1. Everyone smokes. Everyone smokes everywhere. Here you'll see a picture of Pui's uncle lighting up in McDonald's. He also smokes: in the car, in the house, in any and every restaurant, all day, everyday. From what I can tell this is completely normal behavior. The 'No Smoking' section of restaurants is like 4 tables in a back room.

If the legal system can be proud of one thing of the work it has done in America it's shutting down big tobacco. I have no doubt that the life span of these people would jump up to over 100 if they could do something about getting those teens off of nicotine.

Back to the Future

I was back in Thailand for a couple of days before Pui and I got on a jet plane and headed to Japan for 2 weeks. Pui's aunt and Japanese uncle live in Nagoya. They were kind enough to put us up for as long as we wanted to stay with them not to mention covering pretty much every expense along the way. The language barrier is a constant source of entertainment. Here is the language spectrum:


Me: English and so-so Thai (Some French that is not applicable here)

Pui: Thai, English and broken Japanese

Aunt: Northern Thai, broken English, Japanese

Uncle: Japanese

So any time I want to say something to the uncle (other than 'yes' or 'delicious'), I will say it to Pui in English, she talks to her Aunt in Northern Thai, Aunt to Uncle in Japanese, and then the answer in the reverse order. This would also become the apparent reason why we would go on obscure excursions to Japanese film museums featuring the greats from the 30's, 40's and 50's. When Pui says: "Josh likes movies", somehow that gets lost in the translation.



My initial impression of Japan is that they are all living in the future. The weird part though is that it's not the future that you see in Stephen Spielberg movies or Isaac Asimov novels, it's the future that was depicted in the Godzilla movies that were made in the 70's. The future with the little cars and the professors in white lab coats. The one where all the doors slide open when you approach (not just the ones at groceries stores). The one where a robot arm comes out and squirts your ass with warm water after going to the bathroom. Well maybe that last one wasn't in the movie, but it showed up in the real future anyways.


The efficiency of this culture is astounding. When you ride a bus, the driver shuts off the engine at every stoplight to save gas (since Japan didn't go to war with Iraq, their gas is at $6/gallon like most of the rest of the world). When heating their houses they have a sliding door system that only heats the rooms that you are occupying. If you're not hanging out in the kitchen, it doesn't get any heat. All the cars are super tiny and super gas efficient. The roads are so much safer (everything seems to be a 1 way road) that there doesn't seem to be 1/2 as many accidents. A great example is going from town to town, there are great mountain ranges; however we have yet to see a mountain pass. Everything is just tunnelled. These tunnels are so long and advanced (also 1 way), I have no doubt that Teton Pass would be short work for Japanese engineers.

I Learned a Lot...

But I wouldn't really call it a vacation. There are 2 destinations I've heard that phrase about over and over - India and China. I found this surprising while traveling in Yangshau because everyday was jam-packed with about as much fun and sloth as any good vacation should be. My last 3 days in China I had the opportunity to travel up North to Shang Hai to visit my best friend from high school Bryan Willert. He relocated his family there in the summer of 2007 and they were kind enough to let me stay with them.

Visiting the North of China removed me from the touristy shelter that Yangshau provided. I haven't had a good bullet list in a while, so let me break down my interactions in the first 10 minutes.

• After taxiing in the plane to the gate, you normally wait for that little ding that signifies the plane has stopped and you can stand up. To me that means 1 of 2 things, 10 more minutes to read my book before I can get off the plane or a chance to stand up and stretch my legs. However in China that ding signifies the start of a race to get to the front of the plane as soon as possible (so then you can wait 10 minutes). I had an aisle seat and the guy next to me did everything in his power to get to the aisle as soon as possible, throwing elbows, laying on my lap, some weird dry-humping motion to get over my knees. All so he could stand in the aisle (basically on the other side of me) and get off the plane that much sooner.


• Actually my return flight leaving Shang Hai was equally entertaining. On this one the Chinese guy had the aisle seat and he 'jumped the gun' on the little ding, and proceeded to do a mad sprint up the aisle way. He made it about 6 seats before another person cut him off.


• So then we offloaded the plane into the bus that would bring us to the terminal. While driving to the terminal, another airport vehicle (the kind that offloads passengers) cut right in front of us on the runway. And not a little 'excuse me' cut off, but a full on 'lock up the brakes, everyone goes flying, kids start crying' kind of maneuver.


• Collecting my luggage was another experience all together. The last time I got that aggressive I was 12 years old fighting Lars Sturlin in middle school over a Four Square match. Needless to say there were elbows being thrown left and right.


• So then I have to exchange currency. So I patiently wait in line behind 3 people. When it's my turn I step up and some jackass (who wasn't in line at all) steps right in front of me. Obviously he mistook me for someone who hadn't been in China for 10 minutes already. Of course he received an elbow from me as I fought my way back to the front of the line.

Bryan would later tell me that I was a complete wreck when he found me at the airport. Being in such confrontational situations will do that to you. He later explained to me that some things we take for granted don't necessarily apply in China. Like the concept of 'standing in line' or 'let people get off of an elevator before you get in'. It's more of every man for himself and don't get worked up about it. It's just business as usual.

This was never more apparent than driving in China. Mind you I've been on a motorcycle for the last 2 years in what I thought to be crazy traffic. Let me say, that was nothing compared to China. Bryan has a driver in China (one that I found to be very skilled) and he has been in 5 traffic accidents in the last 7 months. I put together some sweet video of an intersection outside of Bryan's house.

I wasn't in the city for long, but what I saw was pretty interesting. About 6 years ago I travelled to St. Louis to see Bryan. He is in charge of automating product lines for his company that makes household products, incense, flyswatters, clothes hangers, etc. Back in St. Louis it was this really intricate setup with robots and 24 hr. production lines run by all these different machines. He moved to China last year to move many of the operations where production is much cheaper. It was fascinating to see the exact same processes being carried out by a production line of workers, also 24 hours a day (3 shifts) - apparently at about 1/3 the cost.

So all that being said, Shang Hai doesn't leave a huge impression one way or the other. It's a big city like Detroit is a big city. The food paled in comparison to Yangshau. I'm really glad I went to see it and it was great to catch up with my old friend. As they say, I definitely learned a lot... but I wouldn't call it a vacation.

Pulling down on some Chinese karst

I'm embarrassed at how little I take advantage of traveling around Asia sometimes. I've been over here a couple of years now and have never ventured outside of Thailand. So when my friend Marshall told me he was going on a climbing trip to Yangshuo, China, I didn't hesitate for a second to invite myself.
Oddly enough, Yangshuo wasn't too much unlike the westernized version of Thailand; English speaking, pizza parlors, night clubs, all the knock-off shopping you can handle. I got about as much of a sense of Chinese culture as a tourist in Jackson gets a sense of the old west. That being said, the area is crazy beautiful. Surrounded by over 70,000 towering karsts, it's mind blowing just walking out your front door. Here is a video from the top of one of them. In addition, I'll go on record as saying the food there was as good as any I have ever had in my life. We literally didn't have a single meal that wasn't outstanding for the whole 2 weeks.
Of course, that was all just a bonus, because the real reason we came was for the climbing (video here of starting a warm up). One of my traveling companions, Josh Morris (also Pui's boss) is an avid climbing photographer. Please check out the photo album for some sweet shots.

Also I must say that my Chinese blogging efforts have been pretty weak. You can read a much more comprehensive review at my friend Marshall's blog.

I Love my New Neighborhood

Moving to a foreign country is kind of like being an infant (or so I think). The littlest achievements seem so big.


Wednesday nights find Pui working late and me all alone in the big city. (So I'm not alone, there are lots of people to hang out with but I chose to take a lone evening). On a street about a block from us, there are food stalls lined up either side. Most thai people get take away from these stalls, although many of the vendors have set up a table or two behind their place to sit and eat. I'm a little shy to stop and eat because it can be hard to figure out what it is that each stall serves. However, I haven't really found anything I don't like to eat (except maybe that chicken foot floating in my bowl of soup the other day) so I decided to just try whatever this particular stall has. The guy was really nice, told me to sit down and brought me a plate of rice with some of the best chicken that chickens can make sitting on top. As I'm eating an older woman sitting next to me figures out somehow that I'm not thai and kind of keeps looking over at me. So I say hi. She says hi and then starts asking me various questions in English. I answer in Thai. She just finished taking a course in English from the British consulate and really wants to practice her english. So here I am, sitting at a food stall in my neighborhood, talking to my neighbor and feeling like I belong here.


After a while, I leave the stall still feeling a bit hungry so I go to another stall that is only take away and order some Kale type thing, rice, and some amazing chile sauce all in thai. The woman serving it up smiles and waits patiently as I speak thai, and sure enough, I get what I thought I was going to get. I'm pretty much feeling like the man.


This must be how infants feel the first time they learn to communicate exactly what they want.